Ayoub & Abel’s Story: Engaged Fatherhood

Stepping into the Yellowknife Historical Museum from the snowy landscape, I was struck by an unexpected sight: fathers comforting crying babies and toddlers. Having supported families across Canada for years, this was a first, as it was most often mothers who tended to their children.

I soon learned they were participants enrolled in Men Like Me, a family and gender-based violence (GBV) prevention program aiming to foster healthy mindsets and positive masculinities in fathers.

During the visit, I interviewed two fathers, Ayoub and Abel. They both worked 70 to 90 hours every week in Yellowknife's mining and taxi industries, driven to provide a better life for their children.

Redefining Fatherhood

Men Like Me reframed what it meant to be a present father after settling in Canada. Many came from collectivist cultures where extended family networks supported one another in caring for each other. Moving to Canada meant losing that support structure entirely while navigating employment, housing, and raising children. As Ayoub recounted:

Back home, all families are there together. The kids play with the whole family. But here we stay just in a small house, wife and kids, no family around. Men need to be close to the family. I play with my kids more than before. I go around with them, and they are happier.

Abel worked long shifts as a taxi driver in Yellowknife's gruelling winters, consumed entirely by work. Working odd hours left little time to spend with his family.

Men Like Me helped them foster a more engaged role as fathers. Joining a peer-led group of fathers navigating similar transitions in settlement and integration, they began to see that stepping into a more present role at home was strengthening their relationships with their families, fulfilling their lives, and bringing them happiness.

Showing Up Emotionally

Ayoub helped out more with household duties and began taking his kids to the store with him, letting them pick out their own school supplies and winter clothes. "Before, I would just choose for them. Now, I take them to the store and they grab what they want."

He also started opening up to his wife:

"Most people, they don't share things with their wives. But here, life is different. You need to share and come together as a family. When you share, you solve problems. When you don't share, it builds up."

Even his wife noticed the change.

Thanks to Men Like Me, he realized the importance of being present and caring for his partner. Taking a break from work and spending time with his family helped him feel better and improve his emotions.

Making Time For What Matters

Abel found the agency to stop mid-shift:

"I take a break in the middle of the job to play with my daughter and drink coffee with my wife, and come back. No one can stop me from taking a break. Like this, I give them more time."

For a man who prioritizes providing for his family financially, that small act had a big impact.

Abel came to a quiet realization: “Money is not important, but family is very important. I have to give them time to know them.'"

As the visit ended, Ayoub wanted to make sure the program reached others who had arrived in Canada carrying the same invisible weight.

I am so happy for this program. I hope every newcomer who comes to Canada should take the program and learn how to stay with family and give them time.

Ayoub and Abel arrived in Canada carrying the weight of settlement and the pressure to provide. Men Like Me gave them the chance to explore their emotions and to show up for their families. They left the program measuring success differently: in time spent, conversations shared, and happier children and partners.

Bring Men Like Me to Your Community

To bring Men Like Me to your community, please email info@mothersmatter.ca

Learn More About Men Like Me